I had been struggling all day with my money situation. I was worrying about upcoming bills and my upcoming trip to see my aunt. As I continued in my worry I began to feel alone and depressed. I began to think of friends that I used to turn to in those times that I no longer felt I could talk to, and I was beginning to doubt if God was even hearing my thoughts and prayers anymore. I cried as I most often do and told my fourteen year old daughter that I was on the verge of giving up. Why work so hard when your not seeing any results, right? So as my daughter and I said good night and turned out all the lights I found a note on my pillow. It was folded in half and simply said "Mommy" on the front with one of Michaela's signature smiley faces. I wasn't sure at first if I wanted to read it right then or save it until the morning. I figured it would make me cry even more and that was something I had done enough of over the coarse of the day. I decided I may as well read it so maybe I could sleep easy during the night. What I wasn't prepared for was the strength my daughter was fixing to give me in a simple one page letter. With her permission I am posting this letter at hopes that it may bring you strength also. She wrote:
"Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will recieve the crown of Life that God has promised to those who love Him." James 1:12
Dear Mommy,
God gives us tests in life to show how strong our faith is. There's nothing "more complicated" about it. God just wants to see how much you believe and put your faith in Him. I maybe just a teenager, but I've been around long enough to notice when God wants someones attention. So my advice? Pick up your Bible, read till you feel like you've read enough, or until God tells you that you have read enough. Then get down on your knees and pray with everything you have. Don't stop until God has answered your prayer. Also read 1 Peter 4:12-13.
Love you,
Kayla
So like a good mother following a spiritual leaders advice I did just as she told me to do. I read, I prayed, I cried out to God, and then I did it all over again. And I didn't stop until I felt the hands and the arms of God holding me. I know some of you may ask how I knew it was Him. I tell you that when the hand of your Creator reaches out and holds you in that moment you know it's Him. There was nothing else in that room, but me and the Holy Spirit, and I knew it. I was sitting in a darkened warm room covered in a blanket and the most incredable feeling rushed past me enough to give me goose bumps. I have had other encounters with the Holy Spirit, and there was no mistaken that God had me there curled up in His perfect love. So it was at that time that I laid my head down, said thank you Jesus, and closed my eyes to fall asleep.
Today has been a better day. I woke up refreshed and the first words I spoke were, "Thank you God for another day I don't deserve and another breath". I went to work as usual, had normal conversations with my co-workers, laughed some, picked my daughter up at school, and went to church to hear an awesome message. And I have done all this with a great peace surrounding me. I know that the bills are still there and the trip is still coming up, but I didn't let those thoughts consume me today. Today I just focused on that feeling of knowing that my God my Savior was with me the whole time, and He will take care of the rest. My daughter no matter how young she may be will never cease to amaze me. I know that God resides in her and gives her exactly what I need to hear when I need to hear it. I am forever greatful for that.
All of this happened because a teenager wrote me a letter........ I Love You Michaela Elizabeth!
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